champagne-paradise:

ahahahhahahaha

225,034 notes


Today I went to Subway.

There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”

image

606,645 notes


babyferaligator:

sighprincess:

What are some cool sex positions

standing at the ATM handin me all ur money

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